Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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