I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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