Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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