the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
