I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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