it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
