I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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