this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize