I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...