I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.