3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This is my gift to your gina
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
