Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
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Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
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Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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