I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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