Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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