oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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