i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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