No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize