Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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