You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
