he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize