I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
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The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
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She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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