New invention idea: vibrating tampons
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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