Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
