Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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