i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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