no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
