he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize