Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
