i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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