Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
