I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
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