Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
