You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
