how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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