She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
