Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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