Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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