Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
