Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
