So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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