You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize