I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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