Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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