so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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