Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
