AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
