is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Randomize
