You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
