eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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