I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
