This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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