Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize