You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
