it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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