I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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