you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
