if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
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