Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
