i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
