come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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