We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
