The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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