So drunk its hurt
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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