How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
