that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
