The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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