It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
