why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
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If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
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I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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