4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
